


Learning To Love

by ladybug114



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: (yes both of those things), Denial of Feelings, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:14:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25114480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladybug114/pseuds/ladybug114
Summary: Learning To Love, or: self doubt, trauma, and figuring out how to overcome them and accept your feelings for the person you love.
Relationships: Leiland | Kraz-Thun/Markus St. Vincent
Comments: 16
Kudos: 116





	Learning To Love

**Author's Note:**

> I'm obsessed with escape from the bloodkeep, and it's honestly a miracle that it's taken this long for me to write fic for it. Leiland is just... he's such a good character, I love him so much, and the potential for development in him and his relationship with Markus is just SO good. So I wrote some of it. I hope you enjoy!

“We’ve really been working on expanding our trade route,” Markus says one day, after the Dark Lord has been laid down for his nap and Leiland finally has a little time to talk. “John’s been helpful with that, the eagles have lots of connections all over the place.”

“That’s great,” Leiland says, and he means it. Markus is finally living the life he always wanted to live. He wishes his friend was around more, he does, but he would never dream of taking this from him. “How long are you sticking around this time? Efink and Lilith are deep in wedding planning, and I think they wanted your help with some of that.”

Markus winces, glancing away. “I’m heading out tomorrow, actually. A group of giants is interested in figuring out how to get weapons that they can actually hold, and it’s a bad idea to keep giants waiting.”

Leiland nods, and ignores the voice in his head telling him to ask Markus to stay. He doesn’t deserve to ask that. “Good luck,” he says instead, forcing a smile onto his face. “I’m sure you’ll do great.”

“Thanks, man,” Markus says, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Might be a couple of months, but I’ll see you when I get back! I know Sokhbarr’s pretty busy with the new scream beasts, so say hi to him for me, yeah?”

“Of course.”

* * *

A week passes, and then a month, with no word from Markus. He’s not usually gone this long, at least not without letting them know what he’s up to, and Leiland spends every day with a tightness in his chest that he tries to ignore. He knows that Maggie notices, and he knows that she knows the reason for it, but she doesn’t call him out, which he appreciates. They understand each other now, which is a new experience for Leiland, but it’s nice to have someone who supports him quietly. 

He thinks about asking Efink to scry on Markus, make sure he’s okay, but that might be crossing an invisible boundary. He’s still figuring out what it means to care about people and what it means to be cared about, and he’s constantly aware of the lines and how not to cross them. 

Another week passes, and so does another month, and Leiland finds himself lying on a couch in Lilith’s lair. 

“It’s okay to be worried, darling,” she says, looking through Jessa’s latest wedding dress designs. “We’re all worried.”

“Should I be _this_ worried, though?” Leiland asks, staring at the ceiling. 

“Leiland,” Lilith says, setting the paper down and turning to look at him, “I think it’s time to admit something to yourself.”

He closes his eyes, shakes his head. He knows what she’s saying, and he knows that he can’t.

Lilith sighs and scuttles closer to him. “I know you’re scared, and I know why you’re scared, but this doesn’t have to be scary, you know. Just because your first love was horrible doesn’t mean they all have to be.”

_Love_.

“That’s not,” Leiland starts, but he can’t finish the sentence. 

“I know,” Lilith says, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder, and Leiland relaxes into the couch and doesn’t say another word.

* * *

“I don’t think I’m ever going to date again,” Maggie says one night, after putting her son to bed, four glasses of wine into the evening. 

“Mmm,” Leiland acknowledges, downing his fifth glass. 

“It just _sucks_ ,” she says, gesturing with her glass and almost spilling wine all over the carpet. “I had one shitty experience with one shitty guy, and he ruined everything for me.” She sighs, leaning back and finishing her wine in a long, slow, drink. “I’m glad you seem to be getting over it.”

Leiland blinks, trying to process that. “Am I?”

“Well _yeah_ ,” Maggie insists. “I know you and Markus haven’t said anything to each other yet, but it’s only a matter of time, right?”

“No,” Leiland says quickly, some of the haze fading from his brain. “You know he’s far too good for me.”

Maggie shrugs, slumping even deeper into her chair, the glass falling from her hand and landing softly on the carpet. “I think you’re both pretty cool,” she mumbles, “and I know he thinks you’re hot.”

Leiland opens his mouth, ready to ask what on earth gave her _that_ idea, but her eyes slip closed, and the snoring starts only a moment later.

He pours himself another glass, and he tries to forget.

* * *

Three months, one week, and four days after leaving to negotiate with the giants, Markus’s airship docks at the bloodkeep. 

Leiland, busy in the beast pits with Sokhbarr, doesn’t notice until three hours later, when Efink’s voice suddenly appears in his head and says, _Go kiss Markus before someone beats you to it, idiot._

“Uh,” he says, “I think Markus is back.”

Sokhbarr grins, and J’er’em’ih makes a noise that Leiland doesn’t even try to understand, and then Sokhbarr is shoving him out the door and telling him to “Go get it,” whatever that means.

He heads to the throne room, first, but the doors are shut for the Dark Lord’s snack time, so he finds himself wandering through the Keep, knowing that he needs to find Markus without having any idea what he’s going to do once he does. 

In the end, Markus finds him first. 

“Leiland!” he says, behind him, and Leiland turns so fast that he almost falls over, and wouldn’t that be a good way to greet Markus after more than three months of complete silence?

“Markus,” Leiland says, because he’s there, he’s right in front of him, and suddenly Leiland realizes that he doesn’t _need_ to think about this, that maybe he’s been thinking about it too much, and suddenly he’s walking forward, and so is Markus, and Markus’s mask isn’t on, and he looks so beautiful, and Leiland missed him so much, and.

And Markus kisses him.

Distantly, Leiland is aware of someone cheering, and part of his brain thinks, _Oh shit, is Maggie here?_ But that part of his brain is quiet and small and easily overwhelmed by the part of his brain that is too busy thinking about how Markus is kissing him.

They pull apart eventually, and Leiland doesn’t let himself hesitate before he says, “I’m pretty sure I love you, Markus.”

Markus laughs, and it lights up his face, and Leiland doesn’t think he’s ever looked more beautiful. “I think I love you too, Leiland,” he says, and then he kisses him again and again and again.

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my [d20 tumblr](https://accessible-d20.tumblr.com/) and yell at me about bloodkeep, please!!


End file.
